inventory Performed from Sunday, October 31 - Thursday, November 4, 2021 at Cranbrook Academy of art, bloomfield hills, mi
Inventory (Performance), 2021 — The contents of my studio and my body, Performed in the Architecture Studios at Cranbrook Academy, Sunday, October 31 - Thursday, November 4, 2021
Inventory (Performance) was a durational performance and meditation considering the physical and emotional weight of the things we carry. Over the course of several days, I took inventory of all the materials I’ve been carrying with me in my studio over the past several years. The audio piece is a recording of the written documentation (copied below).
Sunday, October 31, 2021 / 25 Cheshvan 5782
11:16 am
I haul 12 containers of materials I've collected over the years from my studio in the Fiber Department into the crit room of Architecture studios. In the past 10 years these contents, in various ranges, have moved with me from Sharon to Ann Arbor back to Sharon, to Crown Heights, to a studio in South Slope, to another apartment in Crown Heights and a studio in Crown Heights to a studio in Bed-Stuy to a studio across the hall in Bed-Stuy to a third apartment in Crown Heights, and back to the studio in Crown Heights, to a studio in Jersey City, to a house and a studio in Syracuse, to another house in Syracuse, to an apartment in Clinton Hill, to an apartment in Ridgewood, to a studio in Bushwick to a studio in Bloomfield Hills. These contents weigh as much as a precarious marriage. It’s too heavy to carry with me wherever I go next.
11:21 am
I open the trunk of my car and watch in slow motion as the dolly rolls off the loading dock and everything falls to the pavement, exploding open.
11:39 am
I unload the contents out of my car into Architecture studios.
11:46 am
The crit room floor is so dusty. I sweep the floor, remove my shoes, bring the containers into the room and spend the next 10 hours unfolding and refolding the contents of the containers, organizing them into piles on the floor. Our sets of sheets, wedding presents, stained purple from grape juice and traces of her; About 74 spools of yarn, mostly ones I took from Syracuse’s yarn wall, some silk spools from N’s tallit and some acrylic wool and synthetic ribbon from JA’s workshop at Penland and other people and places I have since forgotten; A bag of used tissues from a time when I was crying more often than not; Two messy braids of hair saved from when K shaved my head last January; A torn-apart fur-lined hat that A gave me to test out some headwear design; Mustard rug chord from E (a recent addition); Neon rope; Regular twine rope; 4 rolls of twine from To Hear Your Voice music video shoot last fall; O’s bedazzled bra from the first Gratitude Migration festival; Assorted ribbon; Ribbon left over from my wedding decorations; Ribbons I saved from clothing tags; 16 oyster shells that I thought were pretty from a restaurant I can’t recall the name of or location of but I remember being ok with you ordering them; An impression of my teeth from my first nightguard; Spools of silver beads and sequins from Great Small Works who also donated the roll of white tulle and the ribbons from 40 Days of Teshuvah; The ribbon walls from 40 Days of Teshuvah; The Memorial Wall from 40 Days of Teshuvah; Vinyl tubing stuffed with paper trash; Bundles of threads that have yet to make it into a weaving; The walls of V’asu Li Mikdash, dyed in grape juice, knotted and bundled and the walls from V’asu Li Mikdash II folded in piles, both leave remnants of dust in their trace; Papermaking goody bag of leftover supplies from a summer workshop at Arrowmont; Wooden dowels and a pile of twigs; A bag of glitter confetti, unopened but still spilling everywhere; Two bags of paper confetti, unopened and contained; A wedding present from friends that we couldn't find a place for in our home because its cheesy Judaica so it found its way here; Furry rainbow ribbon (a very recent purchase because it brought me joy even though it's synthetic); Leather chord; a box of glitter; Synthetic flowers in a panda cookie tin from Hong Kong; Scraps of clothing; A lot of O’s leggings too tight for me; A romper from a Buffalo Exchange somewhere in Southern California that I wore to N’s Bat Mitzvah and I think that was the only time; Several pairs of underwear too synthetic to be sexy; One pair of K’s Hanky Panky that I borrowed and never returned; Weavings of mine that I want to photograph and sell; Weavings of mine that I am going to take apart and reuse; A sham pillow case from college, or maybe high school; A roll of muslin; Stained drop cloths; More white fabric of different textures for projects that didn't become anything other than their role in this performance as subject of the photographs and videos and this list; Green elephant pants from India; Braided ropes from 40 Days of Teshuvah; Tzitzit knots that don't know what to become or how to exist in a world they don't belong in; A straw clutch with blue pompoms that came free with the purchase of some skincare, and immediately went into material storage; A bra I don't wear (the rest of my bras should be here too); Tights with the smell of sweaty feet permanently woven into the fabric; Yarn knot balls; Bags of miscellaneous thread scrappage; A cut up Urban Outfitters t-shirt with an OBEY wolf on it; J’s sheets from college, cut up and shredded; Acid wash jeans, striped; Hardware from a Pinky Motto purse I loved that was priced as real leather but turns out wasn’t; Glass for mosaics; A duster from my mother-in-law; Plastic vines leftover from a costume for Firelei Báez’s Art21 video; Green ombre tissue paper; A straw bag from Tulum whose handle snapped because I put too much weight on it; Lace doilies from SS; Two unused gold emergency blankets; A package of popsicle sticks; A box of acupuncture needs from R, unused; A Trader Joe’s edamame package storing broken felting needles and used acupuncture needles (used on a doll, not human); A small glass vial with a corked lid filled with pebbles; A green and clear plastic container with toothpicks; An unopened bag filled with the same synthetic flowers as in the panda container from Hong Kong; A dreamcatcher from M that I don't know what to do with because I don't want to appropriate it but I also can't throw it away; Two strings of seashell beads; A bag of white, assumingly synthetic, feathers with gold tips; A bag of feathers, black, grey and speckled; Gold leafing vials from Grandpa Morty’s printing press, never before used by me (these are probably the oldest materials I have?); A keychain A gave me from Pakistan; Linen lining from a straw basket; A DIY headband made of yellow and blue shoelaces that I wore to Michigan tailgates; A woven headband with some sparkly threads from India that I only wore once, for the photo; Dried kozo from Arrowmont, an additional gift with the paper making goody bag; A bag of balloons; The headband I wore to S’s wedding which made me feel like a Roman Empress, but also squeezed my head too tight so I haven't worn it since that day 11ish years ago; Impression putty, unused; More glitter with rhinestones in a Ziplock freezer (this is glitter for my body. The other glitter is for crafting); American flag sunglasses that were free with a purchase from American Eagle. They have stars which flip open over the lens; An empty anchovy box with a glass rod I made and a plastic spider how of which I can't recall ended up in my possession; Bangles from M that I have never used or worn; A dreamcatcher keychain that arrived in the mail because I donated $36 dollars to this organization that now sends me fundraising mail, like, once a week and I don’t know how to make it stop; Twisted multicolored and multi-textured wool that looks pretty but feels too precious to use; A copper soldering sample from freshman metals class; A rock that once had paper on it; Kozo bangles and failed paper castings; A bag of googly eyes; Necklace hardware for Firelei Baez’s video; Brooches from LE that are falling apart; A dress from Bat Ayin that I bought in 2008 that I consider bringing back into my closet because the print is in my favorite shade of green; A band t-shirt I wore only twice because the neck is too tight and I only bought it because I wanted an excuse to talk to the person selling the it; A scarf I gifted to J from India that wasn’t really his vibe; A denim dress I love but have accepted is too tight on me; A denim romper I love that has become too saggy in the butt; Fun pants from D that I just don’t love anymore and navy velour leggings that can only fit one of my thighs, barely; A Montefiore hospital gown and blanket from Z’s episode last New Year's; My mom’s black jeans, because it’s time to let go.
10:52 pm
Everything is in its place in the room.
Thursday, November 4, 2021 / Rosh Chodesh Kislev 5782
10:16 am
I walk seven laps around the periphery of the piles. Seven laps like the seven laps around the house symbolizing the end of sitting shiva. I didn't really know how else to mark the end of this experience, not that this felt right but I wanted to mark this moment and walking seven laps is what came to me.
12:05 pm
Contents are placed back into the containers. My packing is more efficient and I can eliminate the box which was most cracked and broken from the fall the other day. I load up my trunk and haul the contents back into my studio.